Emery, L. F., Gardner, W. L., Carswell, K. L., &amp; Finkel, E. J. (2018). You can't see the real me: Attachment avoidance, self-verification, and self-concept clarity. Personality &amp; social psychology bulletin. Retrieved December 3, 2022, from https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29552948/ 

You Can’t See the Real Me: Attachment Avoidance, Self-Verification, and Self-Concept Clarity

People with secure attachment have optimistic expectations about their ability to cope with the causes of their stress. They have easy access to painful memories (i.e. sadness, anger, anxiety), but these memories do not automatically and uncontrollably spread to other unrelated painful memories. It is easier for them to communicate and share personal information, feelings, and emotions with significant others than it is for insecure individuals.

Adult Secure Attachment Style

People with avoidant attachment are inclined to distance themselves cognitively and behaviorally from the source of their distress. Of all attachment styles, avoidant individuals have the least access to memories of sadness and anxiety due to using deactivating strategies such as defensive exclusion of painful thoughts and memories. It is more difficult for avoidant people to express emotion and they tend to be very independent.

Adult Avoidant Attachment Style

People with fearful avoidant, also known as disorganized, attachment style are extremely inconsistent in their behavior and have a hard time trusting others. They tend to have a strong fear that the people who are closest to them will hurt them. At the same time, they want to be loved and they want to have relationships but their attachment style makes it difficult for them to experience intimacy.

Adult Fearful Avoidant/Disorganized

People with anxious attachment style tend to focus on their own distress, ruminate on negative thoughts, and adopt emotion-focused coping strategies that worsen rather than diminish distress. They often have low self-esteem and need reassurance often in relationships. They are often insecure and anxious about their own worth in a relationship and generally suffer from the fear of being abandoned. They seek intimacy and closeness and are highly emotional and dependent on others.

Adult Anxious Attachment Style

Reference for Attachment Theory Relating to Relationships

•	Secure

•	Avoidant (Insecure)

•	Fearful Avoidant/Disorganized (Insecure)

•	Anxious (Insecure)


University of Maryland, College Park

University of Colorado at Denver

Columbia University

A person's attachment style refers to an array of knowledge, expectations, and insecurities that an individual has about themselves and their close relationships. Attachment styles have been found to be more malleable in childhood and adolescence than in adulthood. The way caregivers respond to their infants, especially during times of distress, can determine the types of patterns of attachment the children form. A person's attachment style can be classified as secure or insecure.

Attachment Styles

In contrast to parent-child relationships, both partners may rely on each other to fulfill attachment needs in adult relationships. Thus, attachment and caregiving processes are highly interrelated in adults. Adult attachment styles develop along two dimensions: attachment-related anxiety and attachment-related avoidance.

Attachment Styles in Adults

Belsky, Jay (2002) Developmental origins of attachment styles, Attachment & Human 
Development, 4:2, 166-170, DOI: 10.1080/14616730210157510


Developmental Origins of Attachment Style

Types of Adult Attachment Styles

This framework illustrates how attachment styles and dyadic processes contribute to health-related processes and outcomes. This framework also includes examples of pathways through which each partner can influence the other.

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