People with fearful avoidant, also known as disorganized, attachment style are extremely inconsistent in their behavior and have a hard time trusting others. They tend to have a strong fear that the people who are closest to them will hurt them. At the same time, they want to be loved and they want to have relationships but their attachment style makes it difficult for them to experience intimacy.

Columbia University

University of Colorado at Denver

•	Secure

•	Avoidant (Insecure)

•	Fearful Avoidant/Disorganized (Insecure)

•	Anxious (Insecure)


Types of Adult Attachment Styles

Fraley, R. C., & Roisman, G. I. (2019). The development of adult attachment styles: four lessons. Current Opinion in Psychology, 25, 26–30. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.copsyc.2018.02.008

The Development of Adult Attachment Styles: Four Lessons

Emery, L. F., Gardner, W. L., Carswell, K. L., &amp; Finkel, E. J. (2018). You can't see the real me: Attachment avoidance, self-verification, and self-concept clarity. Personality &amp; social psychology bulletin. Retrieved December 3, 2022, from https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29552948/ 

You Can’t See the Real Me: Attachment Avoidance, Self-Verification, and Self-Concept Clarity

People with secure attachment have optimistic expectations about their ability to cope with the causes of their stress. They have easy access to painful memories (i.e. sadness, anger, anxiety), but these memories do not automatically and uncontrollably spread to other unrelated painful memories. It is easier for them to communicate and share personal information, feelings, and emotions with significant others than it is for insecure individuals.

Adult Secure Attachment Style

People with avoidant attachment are inclined to distance themselves cognitively and behaviorally from the source of their distress. Of all attachment styles, avoidant individuals have the least access to memories of sadness and anxiety due to using deactivating strategies such as defensive exclusion of painful thoughts and memories. It is more difficult for avoidant people to express emotion and they tend to be very independent.

Adult Avoidant Attachment Style

Adult Fearful Avoidant/Disorganized

People with anxious attachment style tend to focus on their own distress, ruminate on negative thoughts, and adopt emotion-focused coping strategies that worsen rather than diminish distress. They often have low self-esteem and need reassurance often in relationships. They are often insecure and anxious about their own worth in a relationship and generally suffer from the fear of being abandoned. They seek intimacy and closeness and are highly emotional and dependent on others.

Learn Before

Related