In Chapter 23, Poem 39 of Attar's Mokhtar Nameh, the poet reflects on his lifelong spiritual journey with profound self-reproach. He laments that despite reaching old age, symbolized by his hair turning completely white, he has failed to attain genuine mystical insight or divine vision. By declaring himself 'worse than the worst of the bad,' Attar emphasizes the realization of his own deep-seated flaws and the persistence of his ego. The poem highlights the sobering theme that mere physical aging and the passage of time do not automatically equate to spiritual awakening or true enlightenment.